Former Toronto Sceptres goalie Erica Howe was at work in early July when she first noticed the lump in her breast.
She was at the Mississauga fire station where she’d been a full-time firefighter since her retirement from professional hockey, wiping her shirt when she noticed it.
“I was honestly brushing some jelly doughnut dust off,” Howe said. “And I was like, ‘Oh that’s weird.’”
She wasn’t worried about it at first; a quick Google search told her that it’s not uncommon for women in their thirties to get breast lumps. But at the urging of former teammates and friends — along with her wife, Kelley — Howe agreed to see her doctor.
On Aug. 26, at 32 years old, Howe was diagnosed with stage two invasive ductal carcinoma, a form of breast cancer that she later found had spread to her lymph nodes. In September, she had the lump removed, and later found the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, which meant chemotherapy would be required.
“I had plans for this year. Maybe I’d play forward in a Senior A (hockey) league. Maybe be the Toronto Sceptres’ emergency backup if they needed me to. My wife and I were trying to get pregnant,” Howe said. “I can’t do these things: I physically can’t, I mentally can’t.
“I think that is one of the most challenging parts for me … It’s almost like my life came to a full stop.”
In the months since her diagnosis, Howe has used her platform to raise awareness and money for cancer research. An online fundraiser she started last week has already raised over $21,000 for the Canadian Cancer Society. And, on Saturday afternoon, the Sceptres will host a Cancer Awareness game, where the team will help raise additional funds and rally around Howe, who is planning to attend the game.
“Saturday will be a great opportunity for the community to show their support,” said Howe’s longtime friend and former goalie partner Liz Knox. “As much as she may not like it, I know that it will give us all a great sense of accomplishment to show her that there’s lots of people thinking of her and rooting for her.”
When Howe was first diagnosed, she only told her closest friends and did not share anything publicly until an Instagram post in October. Howe has never been a fan of the spotlight, and she wanted time to process the news in private. When she was ready to share her story, she sent a group text to her inner circle first.
“I’m ready to post on the Internet,” she said. “Thank you guys for keeping my secret and keeping me safe and supporting me. I want to have some fundraising ideas. I want to make a difference.”
One of Howe’s original ideas was to raise a set amount of money and have Sceptres goalie Carly ‘CJ’ Jackson give her a mullet before she began chemotherapy. Because treatment was to begin quickly, that idea turned into more of an intimate event than a fundraiser.
Teammates, friends and colleagues gathered at the fire station in late October; people wore pink, and the station brought out its pink breast cancer awareness truck. Jackson cut Howe’s hair into their signature mullet, and former Sceptres forward Jess Jones shaved her head to support Howe, who was told she’d likely lose her hair in chemo.
“I still can’t believe she did it,” Howe said. “I joked that if the roles were reversed, I don’t know if I would have been able to do it with her.
“To have my best friend sitting there with me — and cutting her hair alongside me — it was something I’ll never forget.”
Since then, Howe has launched her fundraiser and the Sceptres have planned its Cancer Awareness game to help support the cause. Members of her fire crew have been selling toques to raise additional funds and will be giving them out to people who make donations at the game on Saturday. In going public with her diagnosis, Howe has made herself a face of breast cancer, at least in the women’s hockey circle she’s in.
“It’s just a really selfless thing to do because she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight,” said Knox. “And I think it’s made us all reflect because Howie is the healthiest human that I know. If this can happen to her, it can happen to anybody.”
Through it all, Howe has been undergoing biweekly chemotherapy treatment, which leaves her tired and nauseous for a few days afterward. Howe said she was having a good day on Thursday when she spoke to a few members of the media, including The Athletic, and that her treatment plan is set with “an end date.”
“Right now, I feel like myself,” she said on the call.
The hardest part, she said, has been the mental side. Because she is immunocompromised, Howe cannot work, play hockey, or be in any environment where there’s a chance of infection.
“Every week is a battle (and) I go through the cycle of the symptoms, but I have all these people there to support me,” she said. “And I think that’s part of why I want to make a difference for others because I can only imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have all that.”
On Saturday, Howe is planning to arrive at Coca-Cola Coliseum before thousands of fans get into the building and will be in a private suite, wearing a mask to keep her safe. It will be the first PWHL game she’s attended this season — and her first as a fan since retiring from the PWHL in June.
“I’m looking for any kind of normalcy in my life right now, so to be in the rink and to be in Coca-Cola, especially, I think I’ll feel like home,” Howe said. “I’m getting chills down my back and emotional just thinking about playing in those (playoff) games last year.
“I’m excited to be in the building this year and feel the atmosphere.”
(Photo: Troy Parla / Getty Images)
