It’s January, the designated month for self-reflection and setting goals. It’s a time when most people contemplate all the ways they’d like to change for the better in the new year. About a fifth, 21% of Americans want to save more money in 2025, according to Statista, 19% want to eat healthier and 17% want to exercise more.
My New Year’s resolutions are typically mental-health oriented. Last year, for example, I resolved to eliminate some life-oriented deadlines — like having kids by a certain age — as a way to relieve stress. And I think it worked.
This year, I have a few new goals to tackle.
Here’s what I’ve resolved to change, and why happiness expert Jessica Weiss thinks it could improve my day-to-day.
1. I want to let go of old grudges
Over the years, I have accrued a fair number of grudges. Whether it’s the family member who spurned me or a crush who didn’t reciprocate the feelings, when I think of these people, I get angry — even if I haven’t talked to them in years.
But I don’t want to carry around this anger anymore, regardless of whether or not we’ll ever come to a resolution.
Science backs the positive effects of letting the anger go. It can reduce anxiety and stress, strengthen the immune system and improve self-esteem, according to the Mayo Clinic. And the nice thing is, “you can let go of the grudges completely on your own,” says Weiss.
One way to do that is to write a letter to the person you have a grudge against, but you don’t have to actually send it. “The physical taking of a pen to a paper is going to release the anger, anxiety, whatever it is” that you’re feeling, Weiss says.
2. I want to be a better listener
I love talking with people in any arena — in my personal life with my boyfriend, friends and family, in my professional life with colleagues and interview subjects. I find, however, that when I’m in these conversations I’m often so desperate to respond to what they’ve said that I’m not always giving them my full attention. I just really, really want the chance to speak.
That’s pretty typical, says Weiss. But there’s a benefit to being more focused on what the other person is saying instead of on how I’d like to respond. People like feeling like they’ve been heard, she says, and “when people feel that they’ve been heard and listened to, they’re naturally going to like you more.”
To help improve my listening skills, Weiss recommends asking more questions and making less statements during conversations. It’s an attitude that says, “I want to actually have the other person talk way more than me in this situation.”
3. I want to read more
I have ADHD and one of the most challenging tasks for me is reading. It’s very hard to get through text, which means I don’t dedicate as much time to it as I’d like.
But “reading actually offers so many of the benefits of meditation,” says Weiss, adding that, “it quiets the brain in the way that meditation quiets the brain.” So, I’d like to do it more in 2025.
Weiss recommends I read for 20 minutes a day. “No phone, no TV, just reading for 20 minutes,” she says. It’s not a big chunk of time, and it will have tremendous benefits.
It can be very easy to set goals at the beginning of the year and then slowly lose momentum in working to accomplish them. If you’ve come up with some New Year’s resolutions of your own, “give yourself some small wins so you can celebrate the fact that you’re actually making progress,” Weiss says.
Set mini monthly or weekly goals that feed into your bigger ones. Having that sense of accomplishment will help keep the momentum going.
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