Being indecisive is one of the most frustrating, unproductive behaviors you can engage in.
It breeds doubt, uncertainty, and even resentment from people counting on you to make a call so they can move forward. When you let multiple options linger, it can sap everyone’s energy and make them question your ability to get things done.
I’ve studied mental strength for decades and, as I lay out in my book, “The Mentally Strong Leader,” decision-making is an essential component, along with fortitude, confidence, boldness, and more.
Here are five things you may be doing that signal indecision — and what to do instead.
1. You avoid and delay
It’s one thing to be prudent in decision-making, another to be paranoid. You can take much longer to decide than necessary because you’re busy ruminating over the implications of making the wrong decision.
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For example, let’s say you can’t decide if you should ask that friend of a friend out to dinner because you worry about getting rejected. You spend weeks dawdling. Meanwhile, someone else takes initiative and just like that, your crush is in a relationship that doesn’t involve you.
What to do instead
Sometimes waiting to decide is warranted, like if you’re expecting key pieces of information to fall into place. Often, though, delaying and avoiding makes you feel like all options are still open even as the window closes on some opportunities.
Considering the cost of not deciding — like missing out on the chance to get to know someone you’re interested in — can spur you into making a great choice.
2. You debate indefinitely
It’s natural to take as much time as you possibly can to make a decision. Without a deadline, or with a deadline too far in the future, you can easily fall victim to Parkinson’s Law, which says that work expands to fill the time allotted.
In other words, you use the extra time you’ve given yourself to consider more decision inputs for longer than necessary.
What to do instead
Give yourself a deadline if there isn’t one imposed on you already — erring toward sooner rather than later — and create consequences for missing it.
For example, commit to your boss that within two weeks you’ll decide who you’re hiring for a key position (a reasonable timeframe, with just a little cushion). You’ll be motivated to stay on track because you know missing the deadline won’t look good. And you don’t give yourself too much time to overthink it.
3. You ignore obvious decisions
Sometimes you know deep down what you need to do, but you look for justification to do something else. Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, and favor information that confirms an existing belief or, in this case, a decision you want to make.
For example, you need to cut a toxic person out of your life. But you keep searching for signs that they’re worth keeping around because it’s too painful to admit to yourself that they’re not who you thought they were.
What to do instead
Accept inevitabilities sooner. Stop trying to find support for what you want to decide, and accept the reality of your situation. Don’t let your distaste for something you know you have to do cloud your judgment.
4. You try to please everyone
You don’t want to make a decision you know not everyone will like, fearing the pushback you’ll get or angst you could cause. But leadership — and mental strength — means being willing to make tough calls at times.
What to do instead
Make the best call you can with the information available at the time, and move forward. Know that the goal is not to have 100% approval. You can’t please everyone.
Instead, strive to make choices that feel authentic and align with your values. And know that people will appreciate that you’ve made a decision, even if they don’t agree with it.
5. You get overwhelmed and stuck rehashing the same information
Indecision can arise from the constant revisiting of the same set of inputs. When you’re overwhelmed, this can feel comfortable, while actually deciding feels comparatively uncomfortable.
What to do instead
Break the pattern and expose yourself to new perspectives, like talking to people with differing points of view and seeking out people who are knowledgeable, but aren’t too close to the decision.
Distance yourself for a few days too, if possible. Doing so can help clear the fog and allow you to remember your ultimate objective. When you return to make the call, equipped with a fresh outlook, the difficulty of the decision often dissipates.
It can also help to imagine the short-, medium-, and long-term picture. Will the decision seem like a good one after 15 minutes? After 15 days? After 15 years? Looking ahead can help mitigate the emotion and overwhelm you might be feeling in the moment and allow you to act with more clarity.
Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of “The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.
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