Americans have racked up a collective $1.23 trillion in credit card debt as of the third quarter of 2025, according to New York Fed data.
Some households are turning to credit cards and buy now, pay later loans to cover their everyday essentials as the costs of basic necessities, including rent, groceries and utilities, have risen in recent years.
But others are simply spending beyond their means. Nearly 30% of Americans reported overspending on luxuries and comforts, a 2023 survey from financial services company Empower found.
When individuals try to rein in their impulsive spending, they often go to one of two extremes: chaos or rigidity, Jaelyn Vickery, a certified financial therapist who specializes in the psychology of consumption, tells CNBC Make It. Between the two extremes, “Adaptability is what is most important,” to develop healthy spending habits, she says.
Chaos can look like saying, “Well, I already messed up, so I might as well just go all the way off the deep end,” and continue to overspend, she says. Rigidity, on the other hand, may look like enforcing a strict budget that doesn’t allow you to enjoy any discretionary spending.
“A lot of the overwhelm and poor mental health [that] happens is when people just bounce between either end of that spectrum,” Vickery says.
“What lies in the middle of that is adaptability, because we need both rigidity and chaos,” she adds. “We need to be able to flow between the two to really find that balance in regards to our consumption.”
How adaptability can help stop overspending
It may seem like getting rigid with your budget is a smart way to curb overspending. But Vickery, along with other financial experts, advises against a restrictive budget because it’s unlikely you’ll actually stick to it and could wind up swinging right back into overspending as a result.
The goal is not to try to be perfectly “balanced” all the time because “perfection is not something that’s healthy to try and sustain forever,” she adds. But the self-awareness to know when you’re feeling yourself move to either side of the scale is key to better overall spending management.
“Self-awareness is your superpower,” Vickery says. “If we can be more self aware of what triggers certain behaviors of overconsumption or under consumption, we can bounce back that much quicker.”
Feelings like anxiety, depression and overwhelm can make an individual fall onto either of the extreme sides of the spending scale because it’s something we can control versus events in your life outside of your control than can cause those feelings in the first place, Vickery says.
“When we are seeking to control the behavior without actually addressing the underlying need or suppressed emotion, it causes a cycle to continue,” she says.
Once you’re able to identify your triggers and how you react to them, you can work toward refining the cycle to fit your lifestyle, Vickery says. “Re-route the consumption toward something that aligns with the person’s current intention or goal,” she says.
Say you tend to shop as a response to boredom, anxiety or stress. Try redirecting that energy toward an “alternative form of consumption that actually supports [your] intention in the moment,” Vickery says.
That could be stepping away from your phone or laptop, trying breathing or movement exercises, or using another sensory reset method, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method, in which you name five things you can see, four you can hear, three you can feel, two you can smell and one you can taste.
If you’re struggling with overspending, it may also be smart to talk to a trusted financial or mental health professional.
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